The Power Within and the Power You Project : Understanding the Difference Between Confidence and Self-Confidence And Why It Changes Everything for Women in Leadership

The Power Within and the Power You Project : Understanding the Difference Between Confidence and Self-Confidence And Why It Changes Everything for Women in Leadership

By Maria Zarotiadou, Managing Director-Plan of Business & Plan Career

There is a moment most women executives know intimately: you walk into a boardroom, your credentials are impeccable, your preparation is thorough and yet something inside whispers, “Are you sure you belong here?”

That whisper is not a character flaw. It is the gap between two forces that are often confused but are fundamentally different: confidence and self-confidence. Understanding that distinction — and learning to cultivate both — may be one of the most transformative acts of leadership available to women today.

Defining the Terms: Two Sides of the Same Coin

At first glance, confidence and self-confidence seem synonymous. They are not.

Confidence is situational. It is the belief in your ability to perform a specific task, navigate a specific challenge, or succeed in a specific domain. It is earned through experience, practice, and demonstrated competence. You can be highly confident as a financial strategist and less confident as a public speaker and both can be true at once.

Self-confidence, by contrast, is existential. It is a deep, unconditional trust in your own worth, your right to take up space, your inherent value as a person and a leader, regardless of outcomes, titles, or external validation. Self-confidence is not earned. It is claimed.

“Confidence asks: Can I do this? Self-confidence asks: Do I deserve to try? The world needs women who can answer yes to both.”

This distinction matters profoundly in the real-world dynamics of executive leadership, where women are often evaluated not just on what they deliver, but on how they show up, how they speak, and how much space they permit themselves to occupy.

Why Women Executives Face a Unique Double Bind

Research consistently reveals that women in leadership navigate a narrow corridor of acceptable behavior. Display too much situational confidence — being assertive, decisive, or direct and you risk being labeled aggressive or unlikeable. Display too little self-confidence, hesitating, over-qualifying, or deferring and you are seen as lacking leadership presence.

This is the double bind: a set of social expectations that punishes women for both too much and too little of the very qualities that define effective leadership. Understanding the confidence/self-confidence distinction is not merely philosophical in this context. It is strategic.

Situational confidence — competence in your field, preparedness, domain expertise — is the currency of credibility. You build it, you demonstrate it, you deploy it. But when that confidence is not anchored in self-confidence, it becomes fragile. One failure, one dismissive comment, one room that does not applaud you, and it can crumble.

Women who thrive long-term in executive roles tend to have both. They are technically and strategically excellent (confidence), AND they trust their right to lead regardless of who agrees (self-confidence).

The Confidence Gap: Real, but Not Fixed

Studies have documented what many women experience firsthand: a tendency to underestimate their abilities, to over-prepare before applying for roles, to hesitate before speaking in meetings, to attribute success to luck rather than skill.

But here is what those studies also show: this gap is not innate. It is conditioned. Years of being interrupted, overlooked, or held to different standards can erode both situational confidence and self-confidence. The good news? What is conditioned can be reconditioned.

Rebuilding confidence — both forms of it — is not about affirmations or pretending. It is about taking deliberate action in the direction of your aspirations, even before the feeling of readiness arrives. It is about reframing the internal narrative from “I’m not sure I’m ready” to “I am ready enough, and I will grow into the rest.”

The Leadership Impact: What Changes When You Have Both

When women executives develop both situational confidence and deep self-confidence, the ripple effects are significant:

• Decision-making sharpens. Leaders who trust themselves hesitate less, act more decisively, and take accountability more gracefully — not because they never doubt, but because doubt no longer paralyzes them.

• Communication transforms. Self-confident women speak with authority. They do not over-apologize, over-explain, or preface contributions with diminishing phrases like “This might be a silly idea, but…” They own their voice.

• Resilience deepens. When confidence is rooted in self-worth rather than external approval, setbacks become data, not verdicts. Criticism is feedback, not identity.

• Cultures shift. Women who lead with self-confidence tend to build teams where others — especially other women — feel permission to do the same. Confidence, it turns out, is contagious.

• Negotiation improves. From salary discussions to boardroom strategy, leaders who know their worth ask for more, accept less compromise, and hold their positions with grace.

Practical Pathways: Cultivating Both Forms of Confidence

This is not about performing confidence. It is about growing it from the inside out.

Build situational confidence intentionally. Seek stretch assignments. Volunteer for high-visibility projects. Build deep expertise in areas that matter to your organization. Every competence you develop adds another layer to your credibility and your belief in it.

Anchor self-confidence in values, not outcomes. Ask yourself: What do I stand for? What do I bring to this room that no one else does? Self-confidence is most durable when it is connected to your purpose and your character, not your last performance review.

Audit your inner dialogue. Most women in leadership carry an inner critic that would never be acceptable from a manager. Begin to notice what you say to yourself in moments of challenge and deliberately reframe. Not into false positivity , but into fair, accurate self-assessment.

Find and be a mirror. Mentors, sponsors, and peers who reflect your capability back to you are invaluable, especially in moments when your self-perception lags your actual growth. Equally, be that mirror for others. The act of affirming another woman’s confidence reinforces your own.

Stop waiting to feel ready. Self-confidence is not a prerequisite for action. It is often a consequence of it. The women who lead most powerfully are not those who never felt afraid. They are those who moved forward anyway.

A Note to Organizations and Leaders of Leaders

The responsibility does not rest solely on individual women. Organizations that are serious about developing female executive talent must examine the systems and cultures that erode confidence in the first place.

This means creating feedback cultures where women receive the same quality of direct, developmental feedback as their male peers. It means ensuring that confidence, particularly the projected, visible kind , is not the primary proxy for potential or readiness. It means building sponsorship structures, not just mentorship, that actively open doors.

Because when you invest in the confidence of women leaders, you are not just investing in individuals. You are investing in the quality of decisions your organization makes, the cultures your teams inhabit, and the future of leadership itself.

“The world does not need women to be more like the leaders of the past. It needs women who are fully, powerfully, unapologetically themselves.”

Confidence will get you to the table. Self-confidence will keep you there; steady, grounded, and ready to lead. The difference between the two is not just semantic. It is the difference between performing leadership and embodying it.

And that embodiment? It begins the moment you decide that you are worth showing up for.